34 Creative Answers to “Why are You Still Single?”
Start with “It’s none of your business” or “Because I choose to be,” then try these!
3 min readAug 5, 2022
- I keep getting lost in the universe’s algorithm.
- I refuse to settle for anything less than a celebrity relationship.
- I’ve watched enough true-crime shows to know it’s safer to sit at home and send memes about being single to my friends.
- I was born this way.
- I am an integral part of a research experiment to prove that there are actually not “plenty of fish in the sea.” (Most of the fish are dead or married.)
- Beyoncé never told single ladies we could put our hands down and go home from the club.
- The CDC has confirmed there’s an ongoing global crisis…of singles meeting my expectations but not my standards.
- Too many people write “Just ask!” in their dating profiles, and I don’t have that kind of journalistic endurance.
- I am single-handedly carrying the weight of being the iconic third, fifth or 19th wheel in my friend circles.
- There are only a few times a month I think: “I need a partner,” and it’s almost always when I’m carrying something heavy.
- I have yet to meet…
