Nov 30, 2022Member-onlyPart Two: Verbs in Past TenseOn loving her, on losing her — Part One. Every morning, I walk quietly to her bedroom, the sunlight inching its way towards her face, the oxygen machine singing its weary hymn, the pill bottles multiplying on the bedside table. …Death5 min readDeath5 min read
Nov 11, 2022Member-onlyRelationship DupesA love letter to myself and no one in particular… — Every other TikTok I see feels like it revolves around recommendations for products claiming to be just as good or effective as similar ones — “dupe culture,” they call it. …Relationships3 min readRelationships3 min read
Published in Human Parts·Oct 17, 2022Member-onlyShifting GearsA clueless driver gets behind the wheel after 16 years of city life — “Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You’re a virgin who can’t drive.” I think about this cutting insult delivered by the iconic Brittany Murphy from the cult classic, Clueless, every time someone discovers that 2006 was the last time I drove a car. (Don’t fret, I’ve…Nonfiction6 min readNonfiction6 min read
Aug 5, 2022Member-only34 Creative Answers to “Why are You Still Single?”Start with “It’s none of your business” or “Because I choose to be,” then try these! — I keep getting lost in the universe’s algorithm. I refuse to settle for anything less than a celebrity relationship. I’ve watched enough true-crime shows to know it’s safer to sit at home and send memes about being single to my friends. I was born this way. I am an integral…Dating3 min readDating3 min read
Jun 13, 2022Member-onlyPart One: Breathe In, Breathe OutOn trying to process imminent grief — “Do you think he knew why we did that? Like he knows I’m at death’s door?” she asks as we walk out of the bank. We’d just met with a Wells Fargo associate to add my name to her account, another dispiriting preemptive task. I look at her with eyes…Grief7 min readGrief7 min read
Published in Human Parts·Jan 6, 2022Member-onlyThe Uncertainty of Motherhood When You’re the 37-Year-Old Fun Single AuntOscillating between two universes — Every five years or so, when I am home in Houston for the holidays, I declare the need for a nostalgia deep-dive — excavating several large, plastic time capsules that reside in the back of my dad’s sprawling art studio; tangible reminders, poignant remainders of early life. This year, I…Parenting6 min readParenting6 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Oct 7, 2021Member-onlyThe Last Dating App On EarthIntroducing Cli-Mate, a Dating App to Swipe Right on Who’s Left — Is your dating life a natural disaster? Are you going through your own extreme drought? Tired of feeling carbon-neutral about your love life? Looking to share your fleeting hopes, dreams, and atmos-fears with someone special? Ready to get out of the friend ozone? …Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Sep 23, 2021Member-onlyA Sexual Glossary of Workplace BuzzwordsDrill down, hard stop, organic growth, strategic fit… — Meetings with your boss will never be the same. “Action Item” A super-hot situation, desire or thirst that must be addressed immediately — with or without another person. “All-Hands Meeting” Orgy. “Bandwidth” The energy or mental capacity required to get that booty. “Best Practice” Safe sex. “Big Data” The number of partners you’ve had; the amount of porn deleted…Humor2 min readHumor2 min read
Sep 20, 2021Member-onlyShould I Post That Dating App Profile Picture?Let me help. — Dating1 min readDating1 min readShorty got flow, flow, flow, flow, flow.Should I Post That Dating App Profile Picture?Let me help.----
Jul 9, 2021Member-onlyCollective Nouns for Men on Dating AppsWhat the flock? — A group of single dads is called a caravan. A group of travel enthusiasts is called a pack. A group of men with class is called a school. A group of guys holding fish is called a cast. A group of gay men is called a pride. A group of…Humor2 min readHumor2 min read
