A Sexual Glossary of Workplace Buzzwords
Drill down, hard stop, organic growth, strategic fit…
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Meetings with your boss will never be the same.
“Action Item”
A super-hot situation, desire or thirst that must be addressed immediately — with or without another person.
“All-Hands Meeting”
Orgy.
“Bandwidth”
The energy or mental capacity required to get that booty.
“Best Practice”
Safe sex.
“Big Data”
The number of partners you’ve had; the amount of porn deleted from your browser history.
“Bottom Line”
Butt stuff.
“Buzz”
The sound your vibrator makes after a disappointing romp.
“Circle Back”
To follow up (and down and up and down and…)
“Disruptive”
When your humping wakes the neighbors.
“Drill Down”
To ignore high-level sex positions and get back to the foundation of lovemaking; missionary.
“Exit Strategy”
To discreetly leave a one-night stand’s apartment without an awkward interaction.
“Get the Ball Rolling”
Lube.
“Give 110%”
When you last 41 minutes after 69.
“Hard Stop”
A significantly less funny term for blue balls.
“Low Hanging Fruit”
Something you should never call your partner’s genitals.
“Micromanage”
When you have to tell a small penis what to do.
“Noodle On It”
A task no one should ask you to do in any context, unless pasta is involved.
