30 Popular Taglines Updated for a Virus Outbreak
Just Do It With Social Distance
Absolutely Do Not Share a Coke®
Every kiss begins with Kay, and ends with, “Yikes, what are your symptoms?”
You’re in good, clean, thoroughly-washed-for-20-seconds hands.
The Best A Man Can Get…Right After a Hassle-Free Coronavirus Test
Like a good neighbor, I’m not going to drive you to the hospital— too risky!
The Quilted Quicker Picker Upper (You’ll Use as a Backup After Running Out of the Toilet Paper You Hoarded from Costco)
King of Beers. Prince of Not Sharing a Name with a Virus.
Think Different…About How You Handle Your Filthy-ass iPhone
America Runs on Panic & Fear
Is it in you? No, really. Is it in you right now? What’s your temperature?
The snack that smiles back, and then talks back after you’ve gone crazy being quarantined in your apartment for so long.
Maybe she’s born with it, maybe she contracted it from the dry-cougher in the elevator.
Let’s go places nowhere near other people.
Where’s the beef…over raising minimum wage so families aren’t left behind in times of crisis?
Because you’re worth it — maybe another 20 seconds under the faucet?
You’re going to hate the way you look in a face mask, I guarantee it.
Chuck E. Cheese
Where a kid can be a kid! And mom and dad can definitely get a fever.
Dollar Shave Club
Shave time. Shave money. Shave your whole beard off because the CDC kind of said so.
Can you hear me now? I’m calling from the bathroom— I can’t stop bathing in Purell. Shit, I forgot to put this conference call on mute.
Gotta Catch ‘Em All— Except, Well, You Know Which One
What’s in your pantry?
Wheezy, Queasy, Breathless (CoverGirl)
The New York Times
All the News That’s Fit to Temporarily Take Your Mind Off Touching Your Face
What happens here, stays here, and is much more powerful than any “novel” virus.
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Finger Lickin’ Good, but For the Love of God, Don’t Do That Now
Everywhere you want to be. (So, Antarctica.)
You are now free to move about the country for $17 roundtrip.
Don’t leave home without it. You know what? Just don’t leave home.