TurboTax® for Singles
What did you pay last year? Attention to all the wrong people.
At TurboTax, we know millions of people every year file their taxes as “single,” so we’re offering a version of our program tailored to your specific lifestyle, in order to maximize your return.* Let’s get you that fat-ass refund, you valuable freelance lover!
I. First, please answer some personal questions.
Don’t worry––this information will only be shared with the government, and maybe some of your dating app matches, if they ask nicely.
How single are you? Check all that apply.
◻ Mostly.
◻ Very.
◻ I asked a friend if anyone else at a party was single, and they said, “There’s a baby here, too.”
◻ My last invitation was addressed to: “You + your latest whoever from whatever app.”
◻ As fuck.
If you were a business, you would be:
◻ Independently owned and operated.
◻ Casually looking for a business partner.
◻ Out of business.
Do you have any dependents (living things who rely on you and/or who you tweet about regularly)? Check all that apply.
◻ Child/pet
◻ Houseplants
◻ Married friends who get off on my wild dating stories
What’s your highest level of solo education?
◻ Associate’s (2 years single)
◻ Bachelor’s/Bachelorette’s (4 years single)
◻ Master’s (6+ years single)
II. Now let’s talk about what you brought home!
Money-wise, not from Tinder. (We’ll come back to that.)
How much income did you earn this year for your incredibly quiet, companionless, solitary household?
[_____________]
How would you describe that number?
◻ Brave
◻ Iconic
What did you pay last year?
