Yelp Reviews from My At-Home Bar

NO COVER for ladies — you don’t need a mask OR a bra!

This bar could never make anything this fancy. (Photo by Adam Jaime)

“This bar has been my go-to spot during quarantine. The drinks are cheap, the staff is knowledgeable (about reality TV — not cocktails), and there’s never a line for the bathroom!”

“While the standard pour of wine is five or six ounces, at My Place, you can have any amount you’d like! For example, a bottle is 25.4 ounces, and if that’s what you want, they’ll find a way to fit it in a glass.”

“The coat check is a chair.”

“Happy hour starts at whatever hour you’re feeling happy! Or sad. Or anxious. And ends when you wake up the next morning and have to delete all your Instagram stories.”

“Obsessed with this spot! The last time I was here, I stumbled into the bathroom and this tipsy girl said, ‘Oh, my God, you are so beautiful!’ It took a minute to realize I was looking in the mirror, but still — love the vibe.”

“Their selection is pretty decent: boxed wine, White Claws, loose beers around the fridge, three or four vodka handles at various stages of emptiness, and a likely-expired jar of martini olives (if you’re feeling fancy).”

“Social distancing wasn’t an issue. There’s literally no one there.”

“Really enjoyed the beer garden in the back! It’s just a windowsill with three tiny neglected plants, but you can stand next to them while crushing an IPA.”

“The bartender is cute, smart, and hilarious! And even though she’s on her phone a lot, she still made sure my glass was never empty.”

“The dance floor is small and full of sharp edges.”

“This is the ultimate place for singles! You just sit in your favorite chair and meet people the old-fashioned way (through your phone).”

“NO COVER for ladies! Like, seriously—no mask, no bra; you don’t even need to get dressed.”

“The bar cart is a venue highlight. It’s this weird, kitchy homage to T.J. Maxx— decorative cocktail shakers, decorative cocktail napkins, decorative cocktail glasses — absolutely nothing utilitarian to the bar.”

“It’s a cool spot, but what’s the theme? And why is there always an episode of 90 Day Fiancé on in the background?”

“You have to try their signature cocktail: the ‘vodka sofa.’ It’s a modern twist on a classic, with the added bonus of it being acceptable to spill on the couch.”

“The music is lowkey and chill, but it gets a little awkward when the DJ puts on her ‘Will I Ever Have Sex Again?’ playlist.”

“This place gets one star. The owner knows what she did.”

“The happy-hour food menu is BOMB. It’s just shredded cheese out of the bag over the sink after you’re finished drinking.”

“Hot tip: Forget bottomless brunch this bar has topless brunch, which is the perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon with the girls.”

“Just so you know: When the bartender screams, ‘Last call!’ it means she’s drunk dialing one more person before passing out.”

“I left my credit card here last week and someone ran up $900 worth of charges on Amazon. Apparently management says they are not responsible for incidents that occur after three vodka sofas.”

Copywriter by day. Humor writer by night. Exhausted by afternoon. @omgskr /

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